Your story is kind of harrowing and reminds me of the film "Lost in Translation". I like the melancholy of the piece though, maybe you could include some details of his life in Brazil to paint a richer picture?
こんにちは。あなたのストーリーがとてもおもしろいです！I like the way you use Katakana in your story for the loan words and to emphasize his average and mundane life as a salary man. I agree with James as far as adding a little more as to how he got to this place, literally and figuratively. Maybe give some details as to the trivial things he does at work and perhaps you can add some Katakana there as onomatopoeia? Just play around with it! Good luck! たのしいですよ。
このストーリーは とても いいです。I think that your writing was very good and how you were able to convey a mood to express the repetitiveness of his life. Good use of katakana.
どうしてサトさんのせいかつはおもしろくありませんですか。Like the others said, you made good use of utilizing the katakana to emphasize his drab life as a salary man. Although the same cannot be said about Sato-san's life, the story was interesting!
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ReplyDeleteYour story is kind of harrowing and reminds me of the film "Lost in Translation". I like the melancholy of the piece though, maybe you could include some details of his life in Brazil to paint a richer picture?
ReplyDeleteこんにちは。あなたのストーリーがとてもおもしろいです！I like the way you use Katakana in your story for the loan words and to emphasize his average and mundane life as a salary man. I agree with James as far as adding a little more as to how he got to this place, literally and figuratively. Maybe give some details as to the trivial things he does at work and perhaps you can add some Katakana there as onomatopoeia? Just play around with it! Good luck! たのしいですよ。
ReplyDeleteこのストーリーは とても いいです。I think that your writing was very good and how you were able to convey a mood to express the repetitiveness of his life. Good use of katakana.
ReplyDeleteおもしろいですよ。でもちょっとdepressing.. I guess you didn't have enough time to think through the details of the story, but still you made good use of katakana!
ReplyDeleteサトさんはたいへんですね。Very interesting story, definitely not something I expected. Maybe サトさんのせいかつ will get better soon^^
ReplyDeleteどうしてサトさんのせいかつはおもしろくありませんですか。Like the others said, you made good use of utilizing the katakana to emphasize his drab life as a salary man. Although the same cannot be said about Sato-san's life, the story was interesting!
ReplyDelete